I woke up early this morning with an overwhelming, oppressive feeling of dread. It was pretty easy to identify because it’s the thing I spend a lot of time, too much time, worrying about. My kids. Specifically, that they spend too much time in front of screens. That they don’t understand the importance of a good work ethic. That they are fine with mediocrity. I relentlessly compare them to other kids. I worry that we should be limiting their screen time. That they should be forced to do more around the house, get jobs. . . Just to do MORE.
Jason has a much more hands-off style of parenting. He says they’re fundamentally good kids and they’ll turn out fine. He thinks school is a training ground for the working middle class and he doesn’t want them to feel constrained by those limitations. I get that. Heck, I agree with it. But don’t they have to learn to play the game? Won’t they have to pay the bills just like everyone else? I don’t want them to be the workhorses for everyone else. . . Making the rich richer and providing welfare for the poor.
And yet they need to know the value of hard work. They need to be passionate enough about something that they wake up and see the world around them for its possibilities. I see that a little bit with my son. He loves powerlifting and he goes to the gym on his own. Pushes to increase his lifts. That’s good. He’s not super motivated by school but he generally keeps A’s and B’s. He’s close enough to graduation that he feels some pressure.
My daughter hasn’t found anything. Well, unless you count makeup. She spends lots of time watching makeup videos and practicing it. I’ve suggested that she hire out to people for dance recitals but she’s never been motivated to do it. She was motivated by cheer but when she didn’t make the team in 8th grade she kind of just gave up.
I just want them to be resilient and motivated and successful. I want them to have prosperity and find Jesus and joy and fullness. I want them to look up from screens long enough to see people and life’s possibilities. Jesus, wake them up. Open their eyes to more than just the insides of their bedrooms. Help me to see their good qualities and to not compare them to other kids, and find them wanting. Open MY eyes and help me to speak life over them and into them. Give me wisdom in guiding them. Give Jason wisdom to lead all of us. Help him to see the dangers of so much screen time. Help my family to see how good things were when we spent time together in Vegas. We were on screens very little.
Lord, at the end of the day, I wanted my life to be extraordinary and I feel like it hasn’t been. I’ve never felt like I was where I needed to be, doing what I was supposed to do. I have felt constantly restless and displaced. I don’t want that for my kids. I want them to find that place where they know they belong. Where they’re content. . .
But maybe that’s the lesson I need to learn and to teach them. That you, Jesus, are my home. That no matter where I end up or what I’m doing, you are my center and the place I belong. Lord, help me to learn this and return to it over and over. Help me to model it for my kids. And yes, they need to learn that but they need to learn work ethic and freedom from screens and to wake up to people and the world around them. Lord, I prophesy peace and joy and prosperity over them. I pray that they aren’t burdened with feelings of not belonging. Help them to find fulfillment in you and to be in your will. In your name Jesus. Amen.
Five Dog Bend 